Hello! I started this blog when I had my third (and last) child in 2006. I wrote here regularly until spring of 2009. Although I took down most of the posts when I closed up shop, I did leave up a handful that were my very favourites. Thanks for coming by to check it out.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Low Hanging Fruit

The toddler is realizing that there are buttons to push 'round here. She is cunning, this feral child of my loins. She glances over her shoulder at me under half-closed lids, as she shuffles slowly towards some forbidden target. There is no need for words: her body language is one large middle finger pointed in my general direction.

I have mellowed considerably over the past nine years. Where this behaviour would have ignited a smoldering annoyance in me with the first two kids, I mostly find it hard not laugh now. I finally understand that this will pass. It just will; I know this with every molecule of my being. So I try to distract, to change her direction. I administer consequences, when required, all the while stifling a grin and sternly, silently forbidding the corners of my mouth to turn up lest it fuel her contrariness.

Oh, but there are easier targets in view. There are siblings. Not so much my boy, for his hot buttons wouldn't even scald you. He is a pomegranate, the globose fruit with tough skin whose seeds are so much work to extract for an end result that isn't really all that satisfying.

My middle child, however, could burn down buildings with her intensity. Histrionic, anguished, constantly upping the decibular* ante. She is covered in hot buttons which her little sister is only too happy to push. Over and over and over again. I try to explain that her reaction only serves to fuel Elyse's behaviour. I advise her to be still, ignore, wait it out. She just can't do it.

My H., she is a tree full of plump, ripe cherries that are easily plucked from their stems and popped into mouths to savour on the spot. And E. is that kid in the corner with the dark red juice running down her chin.

*I'm not convinced that decibular is an actual word, but I like that way it sounds, okay?

19 comments:

MamaGeek @ Works For Us said...

Oh Janet. I so needed to read this. Since I'm on my first child, all our low hanging fruit that gets targeted is, sadly, an annoyance. Thanks for the perspective my friend.

And "her body language is one large middle finger pointed in my general direction." gave me permasmirk.

flutter said...

Dude. Decibular is badass.

Girlplustwo said...

'tree full of plump' melts in my mouth.

Myshka said...

I LOVE the "eyes half closed" image... it's like she's a personification of something out of The Simpsons. hahahaha. x

Laura said...

This is the most wonderfully written entry I have read! It is perfect - kudos to you! Love it! And I can sure relate to it!

Chantal said...

Well written, I can totally visualize this. Probably because my youngest is like that too. I like the "middle finger" analogy. It fits so perfectly. I had never thought of it that way!

Janet said...

The Queen is all about the middle finger body language. DeBoy has taken to shushing me when I tell him to stop doing something. I'm so over it now I only stop them if they're in danger of hurting themselves or each other.
And I think if decibular isn't a word it should be, and it's our duty to add it to the lexicon. Janet makes up words over at her planet all the time (she has two new ones today).

Sarahviz said...

"her body language is one large middle finger pointed in my general direction"

Yeah, I have one of those toddlers too. *sigh*

And he's my third. So I totally get related to this one. Well done.

Beck said...

Third kids. MAN.

Rima said...

This post is totally making my mouth water. But you know what? I think the Hailster and I have a lot in common. I can totally relate with her frustrations, and I'm thirty-four.

the planet of janet said...

i TOTALLY love decibular ... i decreed it a word immediately!

i also totally love this post. it is full of delicious imagery and insight into your children.

fabulous.

Damselfly said...

Ah, sisterly love. It's decibular.

Woman in a Window said...

I think that littl'un would as soon throw stuff to knock that fruit down, just to do it...

KC said...

Oh man, could I go for a bowl of fruit salad. (Yummy yummy.)

Decibular is decidedly rad.

Kyla said...

That last paragraph was awesome. Great visual. Elyse is quite the little imp, isn't she?

Bon said...

loved this. especially the middle finger metaphor.

i think i've spent my life as low-hanging fruit...must. learn. to. toughen. up.

Anonymous said...

should I consider myself lucky....just 2 kids (for now).

Amanda said...

Sounds like my Briar, now, if only I could hold on to your confidence this will pass, as I enter into my own "three and holding" life.

And we are SO holding.

Magpie said...

sounds like she's poking things with a stick...we know that all too well.